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Friday, 3 June 2016

Two daily menus, or: how to lose/gain weight and you should not be bothered by it :)

Hello everybody.

There, in fact, is another way to deal with this "issue": 
enter the "why bother?" state of mind.   :)

It is human nature to want to be liked and accepted. However, this often leads to people worrying too much about what others are thinking about them. 
Start by knowing you are entitled to think what you want. What people think of you cannot change who you are or what you are worth, unless you allow them to. What someone thinks of us may be (is very likely to be) totally wide of the mark. If someone forms an opinion of us based on superficiality, then it is up to them, to reform those opinions based on a more objective and rational view. Leave it to them to worry about - since there's a whole life to be lived.
You can’t please all of the people all of the time. It is impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations so there is no point in burning yourself out trying to do so. 
Only thing that matters is to make sure that one of the people we please is OURSELVES.


Just for the sake of it 
(and all of us who lose/gain weight)
I'm posting there parallel menu plans:

People can only love us if we believe we’re lovable. 
You may not fully believe it if you:
- Constantly compensate for who you are with apologies, hedging words, or clarifications for your actions, like you always owe other people explanations.
- Beat yourself up when you make even the slightest mistake.
- Think about your flaws and feel overwhelming disgust or anger.
- Cling to people who see the best in you and find it hard to maintain those positive feelings when they walk away.
- Tell yourself that you’re being selfish whenever you consider meeting your own needs.
- Repeatedly do self-destructive things, or make choices that show you don’t respect or value yourself.
- Don’t consider your needs a priority.
- Always find a reason to talk yourself out of your dreams as if perhaps you don’t deserve to have them.


I have done every last one of these things at some point. I suspect we all have. Sometimes it’s challenging to love ourselves, particularly in a world where not being a "norm" is perceived as not being worthy of appreciation, love and respect.
Being skinny.
Being fat.
Why bother about it?!
How much body fat we have, our age, our bra size, our waist circumference, or any other number does not define us. That is the opposite of what you read in health and fitness magazines, diet books, and see on infomercials - but, just because it's opposite does not mean it not the truth! 
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to lose fat or change the appearance of your body. After all, it’s your body so you can do whatever you please with it. However, we need to stop valuing ourselves based on the number glaring up at us when we step on the scale. 


I'm giving people a chance to chose,
that's fair, right?  :)

If we ARE to "measure" ourselves, let's use some proper tools to assess our-self worth, like: the value we add to this world, what we have created, how we treat others, etc
Now, that's worth more than a "daily menu", right?
What say you?


  1. My maternal grandmother, mother, and aunt were all embarrassed about how bony and flat-chested they were. Could never gain weight while eating fattening foods. They wouldn't wear sleeveless tops or shorts or swimsuits due to being so bony and scrawny.

    My paternal grandmother and my sister were both average, not too fat, not too skinny.

    I look at my teenage photos and now I realize I looked slim, but at the time I thought I was hideously fat because I had a bit of a tummy, and am pear-shaped and short-waisted with short stubby legs which made me think I was fat because I didn't have the lankiness of my relatives. I weighed 105 pounds and am 5'1" tall. I certainly wasn't anywhere near fat but I thought I was.

    I've steadily gained weight over the decades, constantly dieting and exercising and always failing to stick with it. I was totally miserable with myself in my 20s, 30s, and into my 40s.

    Finally I stopped trying to lose weight or even think about my weight. And even though I am the fattest I've ever been, the 200 pound range give or take either direction, ironically I am the happiest I've ever been with myself now. I wish I could've been this happy in my younger years. It would've saved a lot of heartache.

    1. Two thumbs up, dears Dawn!
      Your words are the TRUTH: there is nothing wrong with being happy with yourself, whatever that means. Happiness is an individual thing, and what makes US happy is coming from within us. So, I cheer for you - go on, be your BEST self in every second of your day!
      (I don't care about your "extra" pounds - that's just you being "extra great" to me) :)


    2. Thank you for your sweet words. I guess it's much easier to be happy when I'm not constantly beating myself up for being a failure. haha

  2. Excellent points and reminders, one and all, dear Marija. Another thing that I think it's important for folks to keep in mind today is that despite what a lot of the media (especially magazines!) would have you believe, people have always come in a vast array of different shapes and sizes. I can tell you, having looked at hundreds of thousands (no exaggeration there) of vintage and antique images over the years that people long (if not "always") existed in so many different body types and that this very, very contemporary notion of looking like a super model is just that - terribly new. Sure, certain points have long been considered attractive across different cultures, but one has only to look at the work of the Renaissance painters, for example, to see curvaceous bodies were not viewed as a negative at all back then - nor should they be now. Beauty resides in the heart and soul, as does worth, as you wisely touch on here, and comes in more forms and sizes than there are stars in the heavens.

    Many hugs,
    ♥ Jessica

  3. Yup, we do need to make sure we please ourselves. And allow other people to please themselves - there's too much pressure on people nowadays to look one way or another.