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Tuesday, 19 July 2016

What do you tell a person when they turn 30?


Hello everybody.

1986 was the year... Following a number of trouble free years in Space Exploration the Space Shuttle Challenger explodes shortly after take off watched by people live on TV around the world. The Internet Mail Access Protocol defined which opens the way for E-Mail and the same year the Human Genome Project is launched to understand the Human Makeup , this will open the way for great advances in the treatment of many illnesses. The worst ever Nuclear Disaster occurs as the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Station Explodes causing the release of radioactive material across much of Europe. In the UK (BSE), commonly known as mad cow disease is identified which causes many deaths over the next few years and a major reform in farming practices.

Back in 1986. the music was changing
and these were the hits
that burned wildly in the hearts of radio audience:


While many "walked like an Egyptian"
a heavily pregnant woman and her husband
rushed to the hospital...

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...and I was BORN! :)


YES. I turned 30. And during the journey I’ve learned a great deal. Here is a list of 30 great lessons in life, that I came across - and with respect to their authors - I share them here & now:
1. We must love. You know the saying, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” right? We must love, even if it breaks our hearts—because, unless we love, our lives will flash by.
2. Love isn’t enough. Although we must love, love is not enough to survive: we must take action to show others we care, to show them we love. 
3. Happiness is not for sale. We can’t buy happiness, yet we search the aisles, shelves, and cheap thrills in search of something more, of something to fill the void. The stuff won’t make us happy, though—not in the long run, anyway. At best, material things will temporarily pacify us.
4. Success is a shallow thing. I used to think I was successful because I had a job my friends and family could be proud of. I worked harder and harder, pushing myself... forgetting to call my friends and family. I got nothing out of working, and I sure didn’t feel successful. Instead, I felt ill.
5. Make change a must. For the longest time, I knew I wanted to change: unhappy, unsatisfied, and unfulfilled, I knew I didn’t have freedom—not real freedom. The problem was I knew this intellectually, but not emotionally: I knew I "should" change. Once your "shoulds" have turned into musts, then you are ready for change.
6. The meaning of life: giving is living. The best way to live a worthwhile life is simple: continuously grow as an individual and contribute to other people in a meaningful way. 
7. Health is underestimated. Our well-being is more important than most of us treat it: without health, nothing else matters.
8. Sentimental items are less important. My grandpa died when I was a teen. It was a difficult time in my life, but it helped me realize our memories aren’t in our things: our memories are inside us.
9. Your job is not your mission. At least it wasn’t for me, although I treated it like it was for the longest time. I worked so much that the rest of my life suffered. 
10. Finding your passion is important. Passion is something you can cultivate as long as you find something that aligns with your principles and desires.
11. Relationships matter. Every relationship—friendship, romantic, or otherwise—is a series of gives and takes. If you just give but don’t get, you’ll feel used, exploited, taken advantage of; if you only take but don’t give, you’re a parasite, a freeloader, a bottom-feeder.
12. You don’t need everyone to like you. We all want to be loved; but you can’t value every relationship the same, and thus you can’t expect everyone to love you the same.When people don’t like you, nothing actually happens. The world does not end. 
13. Status is a a fading thing. Similar to “success,” our culture places an extraordinary emphasis on material wealth as a sign of true wealth, and yet I know too many people of supposed “status” who are miserable. 
14. Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Competition breeds jealousy, although we often give it prettier labels like “competitive spirit,” or “ambition.” Jealousy is ugly.
15. Everybody prays for something. There is no such thing as not praying, and not believing. Everybody believe. The only choice we get is what to believe in.
16. I am not the center of the universe. It’s difficult to think about the world from a perspective other than our own. We are always worried about what’s going on in our lives. Why am I overweight? Why am I not happy with my life? 
17. Awareness is the most precious freedom. Minimalism is a tool to rid ourselves of excess in favor of a deliberate life, and make it simpler, easier, realer. 
18. Be here - now. I use this term as a metaphor for living in the moment. Whatever you feel like needs to be done - do it right now. Love - right now, Smile - right now.. they might not be "later".
19. We are scared for no reason. Just ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” We are often scared of things that don’t have a real effect on our lives 
20. Change is growth. Change equals uncertainty, and uncertainty equals discomfort, and discomfort isn’t fun. But when we learn to enjoy the process of change—when we chose to look at uncertainty as variety.
21. Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make us perfect. I am not perfect, and I never will be. I make mistakes and bad decisions, and I fail at times. I stumble, I fall. I am human.
22. The past does not equal the future. My words are my words, and I can’t take them back. You can’t change the past, so it’s important to focus on the present.
23. Pain can be useful, but not suffering. Pain lets us know something is wrong: it indicates we must change what we’re doing. Suffering, though, is a choice, and we can choose to stop suffering, to learn a lesson from the pain and move on with our lives.
24. Doubt kills. The person who stops you from doing everything you want to do, who stops you from being completely free, who stops you from being healthy, happy, and passionate—is you.
25. It’s okay to wait. Sometimes it’s okay to wait a little longer for something. Why not enjoy the journey?
26. Honesty is important. Honesty, at the most simple level, is telling the truth—not lying. 
27. Openness is just as important as honesty. Openness is more complicated than honesty: openness involves being honest while painting an accurate picture, not misleading other people, and being real. 
28. Adding value to other people matters. When I need to deal with a team of people, I constantly asked them questions like, “How did you add value this week?”
29. Hope is dangerous. So often we fall for the hope (“I hope this works out on it's own!” and “Hopefully, he'll call”), and we are suckered into a circle where we chose not to be responsible for our own lives. Or we wait, and wait - letting ourselves go idle; crippling ourselves until "the thing" resolves on it's own. We must act. For it is OUR life. 
30. I’m still learning. What works for me, may not work for you. There are day when it doesn’t even work for me. We are not all alike (and that's fun), so we must all learn.

...
Don't be afraid.
NEVER be afraid.

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and:

Do STOP to smell the proverbial & actual roses! :)

May this day bring you fortune and fun!
Marija

8 comments:

  1. You have learned a lot of wisdom in your 30 years!

    I hope you had a splendid day, and that my card arrived on time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Mim.
      All this wisdom came to me from various places, as an eclectic I have accepted it - and live by it. Your card came PERFECTLY timed. :)

      Marija

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  2. I hope you had a happy birthday. You have learned a lot in your 30 years, more than many people twice your age.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Dawn.
      Thank you, the birthday was good, a day well spent (on with other days!) :)
      I'm glad you liked this list I have compiled.

      Marija

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  3. I am very late but a very Happy 30th Birthday to you! Your words are so full of wonderful advice which everyone could learn from! I hope your 30th year brings you lots of happiness and lost of cake xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Wendy!
      I am eternally grateful to the people who I spent time with, and who's wisdom was passed over to me; as these are only the ideas that I have accepted (and they have shaped me in time)

      MArija

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